Summer of Love Page 22

  The truth of Cora’s words flooded through her, washing away every lie she’d been telling herself for weeks, until all that was left was the shiny clean knowledge that, yes, she was in love with Alex.

  But was that enough?

  ‘I don’t know what to do,’ she whispered, and Cora wrapped her arms around her.

  ‘Tell me about it. I’m getting married the day after tomorrow and my fiancé is furious with me.’ Cora groaned, and let her head fall to rest on top of Lily’s. ‘We’re both a mess.’

  ‘But only one of us has to sort this out before Saturday,’ Lily said, straightening up so Cora had to move away. ‘My issues can wait. Let’s sort you out first.’ She might have been a rubbish maid of honour so far, but if she could fix this tonight, maybe she’d win back some best friend points.

  ‘And how exactly do you plan to do that?’ Cora asked, reaching for her wine again.

  Lily sighed. ‘Okay, bottom line. What will make you feel better tonight?’

  ‘Seeing Rhys,’ Cora replied without hesitation.

  Of course. Well, if that’s what it took… ‘You know it’s not exactly good form to gate crash your own fiancé’s stag night though, right?’ In fact, Lily was pretty sure it was written in one of Evelyn’s rules of etiquette. Although, given what she’d learnt about Evelyn and Max, she wasn’t sure even her mum was obeying those rules any more.

  ‘We don’t have to go in,’ Cora said, slowly, like she was thinking through an idea. ‘I just need to see him.’

  ‘This is like the Virgin Mary thing, isn’t it?’ Lily said. ‘Unlikely to make any actual difference at all, but you’ll feel better for doing it.’

  ‘Pretty much,’ Cora admitted.

  ‘Right then. Grab your coat.’

  * * * *

  ‘Good grief, could you two look any more miserable?’ Gareth adjusted the bright pink wig on top of his head and signalled to the bartender for another three pints. ‘This is a stag do, not a wake. And we’ve got another three pubs to do before we hit the strip club, so you’d better both cheer up.’

  ‘No strip club,’ Rhys said. It was, Alex thought, possibly the most words he’d spoken at one time all evening.

  Gareth tsked and rolled his eyes, then turned his attention back to the buxom blonde barmaid.

  ‘You promised Cora no strippers, huh?’ Alex asked.

  Rhys shook his head. ‘She wouldn’t care. Probably wouldn’t even notice if I brought one of them home. But that place is terrifyingly awful.’

  ‘Well, I’m glad to be spared it all the same.’ Alex eyed his soon-to-be cousin-in-law carefully. ‘Everything okay with you and Cora?’

  Rhys sighed. ‘It will be. Once this bloody wedding is out of the way.’

  Ah. So that was the problem. ‘It does seem to have become rather… all encompassing.’

  ‘Yeah. And, honestly, she’s more interested in Lily and your relationship than she is in ours.’

  ‘Lily and I don’t have a relationship.’

  ‘That’s kind of the problem, mate.’

  ‘Oh. Sorry.’

  ‘So you should be. Told you that you were an idiot to get involved.’ Rhys gave him a weak smile. ‘Kidding, mate.’

  ‘Only partly though, right?’ Alex knew what people were saying, already. Had heard it suggested that he’d stolen Lily away from her fiancé, then dumped her when he got bored. He couldn’t imagine it was any more fun for her, knowing the truth of it. ‘But we’re just friends now. It’ll all be okay.’

  Rhys gave him a look. ‘Sure. Course it will.’

  ‘Right!’ Gareth turned back from the bar, three pints and three shot glasses on his tray. ‘Here’s what we’re going to do. We are going to sit down at that table by the fire, and I am going to instruct the two of you in the ways of love. And then we’re going to the strip club, because this is supposed to be a bloody stag night, even if you have managed to scare off all your other friends.’

  ‘They’re in the back,’ Rhys pointed out. ‘Playing pool.’

  ‘You’re going to instruct us in the ways of love?’ Alex asked. ‘You remember that your wife just kicked you out, right?’

  ‘And we’re definitely not going to the strip club,’ Rhys added.

  Gareth slammed the tray onto the table just hard enough to make a noise, but without sending anything more than foam cascading down the sides of the pint glasses. ‘Sit.’

  Exchanging glances, Alex and Rhys did what they were told.

  ‘Okay. You first.’ Gareth picked up his pint glass and waved it at Rhys. ‘You are marrying the love of your life on Saturday. You are nowhere near good enough for my cousin, and should be pathetically grateful we’re even letting you into the family. And just because Cora has lost her mind right now doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still be worshipping the very ground she walks on.’ He pushed a shot glass towards him. ‘Now drink this.’

  Rhys blinked at him. ‘What is it?’

  ‘Doesn’t matter.’

  As Rhys cautiously sniffed at his shot before shrugging and throwing it back, Gareth turned to Alex, and Alex tried not to shrink back in his chair at the determined look on his brother’s face.

  ‘And as for you…’ Gareth shook his head. ‘It’s not supposed to be this hard, Al. You can’t decide to get married and just grab the first girl you see and decide to make her fit the bill. But you can’t change the way you feel, either. If you love her, you love her. Pretending to just want to be friends won’t change that, you know. You can’t wish away love just because she doesn’t fit with what you think Dad wanted you to have in your life.’

  ‘That’s not what I’m doing,’ Alex said, but he didn’t sound convincing, even to himself.

  ‘Al, if you love her, you love her. End of story. You just have to figure out where you go next. Now, drink your shot.’

  Alex picked up the small glass, eyeing the contents with suspicion. ‘It’s not tequila, is it? You know I hate –’

  ‘Just drink it.’

  A lifetime of being the younger brother kicked in, and Alex did as he was told, spluttering and blinking as the tequila went down. ‘Jesus, Gareth, couldn’t you have picked something that cost more than a quid?’

  But when his eyes cleared, he realized that Gareth and Rhys weren’t paying him any attention at all. They were staring at the window behind them, and when he looked, he could see why.

  On the other side of the glass stood Cora and Lily, pressed in close to the tiny window. Through the grimy glass, Alex could just make out Cora mouthing, ‘I’m sorry,’ and waving at Rhys, who grinned and waved back. ‘Goodnight,’ Cora mouthed, and blew a kiss.

  Lily didn’t say anything, or make any hand movements, but the smile she gave him warmed Alex far more than the almost-lethal tequila had.

  ‘See?’ Gareth murmured. ‘It’s all very easy when you don’t try to make it hard.’

  ‘Maybe you’re right,’ Alex said as Cora and Lily disappeared from view again.

  Rhys turned back to them, still grinning broadly. Apparently all he’d really needed was proof that his fiancée still remembered who he was.

  ‘Let’s have another of these,’ he announced, holding up the shot glass. ‘And then we’re going to the strip club!’

  * * * *

  The day before the wedding went by in a blur. Before Lily had time to think, she was squeezing into her fancy lingerie and tugging on her raspberry bridesmaid dress, and too busy making sure that Cora was okay to even have time to think about what had happened last time she wore that dress.

  ‘He’ll be there, right?’ Cora asked, a dozen times on their way to the church.

  ‘Alex already texted,’ Lily reassured her, each time. ‘Rhys is there, pacing the church, waiting for you. Your happy ever after starts here.’

  And it did. Lily stood, bouquet in hand, and watched as her best friend since childhood promised to love, honour and cherish the man she loved – and as he promised it back. How could anyone not believe i
n love and marriage right then?

  But really, Lily mused as the vicar droned on, it wasn’t the public ceremony that convinced her. It was the private moments. The way Rhys always took a glass of water up for Cora at bedtime, because she always forgot. It was Cora singing Rhys’s favourite song while she cooked dinner. It wasn’t a spare room full of wedding books and samples – it was Cora at the window last night, and Rhys beaming back at the sight of her.

  That was the true love Alex was searching for, she was sure of it.

  Glancing back, she saw Evelyn and Max sitting together, and wondered if that was what they had. She hoped so. Her mum deserved some real love, after so many years alone. And Max would be good for her.

  Smiling to herself, Lily drew her attention back to the main event – but found her gaze caught on something else first. In the front row of the bride’s side sat Alex, his charcoal grey suit sitting perfectly over his wide shoulders, his mouth tilted in a half smile as he watched Cora and Rhys. But as she stared, he looked up, and suddenly his gaze met hers and Lily couldn’t even bring herself to look away.

  What if I was willing to take that risk? His words echoed around her head, and Lily knew they always would, if she didn’t do something about it. He wanted the real deal, and he was willing to take a chance on her, even knowing how she felt about marriage, even after she’d run away from him so many times before, emotionally and physically.

  He’d agreed to friends but Lily knew, staring into his eyes across the church, that friends would never be all he wanted. It would never be enough, for either of them.

  She loved him. She knew that now. And maybe she’d never believed before that love was worth giving up yourself for, but who was she going to be without it? What was the point of being free to be whoever she wanted if she didn’t get to share that Lily with the person she loved?

  Maybe. Maybe. Maybe she could have the sort of love Cora and Rhys had. The sort that Alex wanted so badly.

  Lily bit her lip and hoped.

  * * * *

  The day was nearly over, and Alex still hadn’t had a chance to talk to Lily. She’d been with Cora all morning, and after the service she’d been whisked away for photos before he even got close. He’d stood outside the church watching her pose and smile and laugh and remembered her gaze burning into his during the service.

  He loved her. And whether that scared her or not, he had to tell her again. Had to try one more time to convince her. Whatever it took.

  But then it was time for dinner, with Lily sitting at the top table, grinning at whatever Rhys’s best man was gabbing on about, while Alex got stuck with Cora’s old university friends. Now the dancing was about to start, and he still hadn’t managed to grab even a few moments alone with Lily.

  He watched, trying to stamp down any growing jealousy, as Lily danced with the best man for the first dance, and bit back a growl of annoyance as Cora’s father stole the next one.

  ‘Stop glaring at my guests and dance with me,’ Cora said, whipping her white skirt around her ankles as she paused beside him.

  Maybe if he was on the dance floor, he’d stand a better chance of grabbing Lily for the next dance before anyone else did. ‘I’d love to.’

  ‘So, do I surmise that you haven’t had a chance to talk to Lily yet?’ Cora asked as he led her out onto the floor.

  ‘Whatever gave it away?’

  ‘Mostly the glowering.’

  Alex sighed. ‘Maybe this isn’t the day to do it.’

  ‘Are you kidding? It’s the perfect day. She’s never going to be more in favour of love than she is today, after my magnificent wedding.’ She pulled back a little in his arms to give him a look. ‘I assume that’s what you want to talk to her about? You’ve given up on this friends nonsense, right?’

  Almost without realizing he was doing it, Alex stole another glance at Lily, who was smiling up at Uncle Richard as they danced. ‘That depends on what she wants. Anyway, I thought I wasn’t good enough for your friend.’

  Cora rolled her eyes. ‘You know it wasn’t that. You’re both two of my very favourite people, and I want to see you happy, that’s all. So, do I throw the bouquet at her or not?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ He knew what he wanted – had known for weeks, if he was honest. But was it what would make Lily happy? He was pretty sure she loved him, but was that enough? He’d made the mistake of assuming he knew what she really wanted before, and look how that had ended. ‘You’re her best friend. What do I do?’

  Cora stopped dancing, and Alex almost tripped over her feet. ‘She wants you, Alex. I know she does. She just doesn’t want to lose herself again in the process.’

  ‘I’d never do that to her.’ The music ended, and around them, people started pulling away and moving out towards the bar, or the tables.

  ‘So go convince her of that.’ Cora gave him a little push in the direction where Lily had been, but he couldn’t see her. Dammit! Was he destined to spend this entire wedding missing her?

  ‘Did you see where –’ he started, but Cora was already pointing towards the terrace doors.

  ‘Alex?’ she called as he walked away. He turned back, and she smiled. ‘I’ve never seen her so much herself as when she was with you.’

  And that, Alex thought as he pushed through the throng of guests to get to the terrace doors, was all he really needed to know.

  * * * *

  The terrace was cooler than the ballroom, and less crowded, but Lily found the moment she stepped onto it she couldn’t stop thinking about the smaller, more private terrace at the Avalon Inn. The one where Alex hadn’t quite kissed her.

  Looked like this would be another wedding when Alex didn’t kiss her. In fact, he’d not even spoken to her all afternoon. Not that there had been much of a chance. Today was Cora’s day, after all, and Rhys’s. It wasn’t about them.

  Unfortunately.

  But then the terrace doors opened, and when Lily turned, Alex stood there, staring at her, as if he couldn’t believe he’d finally found her. Lily knew just how he felt.

  ‘Cora wants to know if she should aim her bouquet at you,’ Alex said.

  Lily blinked at him, and moved to lean against the terrace wall. ‘Is that your way of asking something else?’

  Alex let the terrace doors close behind him and moved closer. ‘Just passing on a message.’

  ‘Good. Because that would be the least romantic proposal ever.’ Which in no way explained why she felt a slight dip of disappointment.

  ‘But now I have your attention…’ Lily’s eyes widened as Alex dropped to one knee, smiling up at her. ‘Don’t panic,’ he said, taking her hand, but Lily had no control over the way her heart was pounding. He couldn’t be doing this, could he? Maybe she’d started to think that maybe love wouldn’t be so awful, but this was a hell of a jump!

  ‘Lily,’ Alex said, and she tried to focus on him and calm her heart rate. ‘I know you don’t want marriage. That you’re still not sure about love. I know that you don’t want a forever that will make you something you’re not. So I’m not down here to ask you to marry me. I want to ask you something else.’

  Lily swallowed. Was this better or worse? ‘What do you want to ask?’

  ‘I want to ask you to be in my life, always. However you choose.’ He squeezed her hand. ‘I love you, exactly the way you are, and every way you are. And maybe it wasn’t what I thought I was looking for, but you’re what I need. I don’t want to change you, but I know I’ll keep right on loving you whatever changes come into our lives, and whoever you decide to become. And I’ll take you anyway I can have you, even if it means we’re only ever friends.’

  Her head felt like it might float away. This wasn’t just taking a risk on her. This was giving up everything he’d thought he wanted, just to be with her. This was everything.

  And if he could take that chance… so could she. This was who she needed to be. Courageous enough to go after her own happiness, and loving enough to give others wha
t they needed to be happy too. Maybe that was all she needed to hold onto.

  ‘I don’t… I don’t think we can just be friends, really,’ she said.

  Alex tilted his head to one side. ‘Another fling, then?’

  Lily shook her head. ‘No. Cora was right. That was never going to work.’ Tugging on his hand, she pulled him up to his feet. ‘What I mean is,’ she said, as clearly as she could, looking up into his eyes, ‘I can’t just be a fling for you. I want something more.’

  He pulled away from her then, just a little, standing stock-still before her. ‘Really? You?’

  Lily gave him a rueful smile. ‘I know. And I’m not saying we should get married tomorrow, or anything. It’s just…’

  ‘You want to give us a real chance.’ Alex’s face broke into a grin.

  ‘If you do.’

  He darted forward and wrapped his arms around her waist, and Lily squeaked a little as her feet left the ground. ‘Of course I do. Even if this isn’t forever, I know I’d regret not giving it a chance. I don’t want the obligatory, perfect marriage I came home for. That’s never what it was about – it was about having someone who made my world brighter, better. Who made everything possible. It took me a while, but I finally figured out what I need.’ He kissed her lightly. ‘Just you.’

  Lily felt like all her insides were lighting up. ‘Me too. I don’t want to stop growing, changing, just because I’m a wife or mother. But I do want to find out what sort of person I’m meant to be, how great I can be, with you at my side.’ She smiled, as she realized the truth of it. ‘I’m only myself when I’m with you.’

  ‘So we’re decided then,’ Alex said, holding her tight against his chest. ‘We extend the fling indefinitely.’

  She smiled against his shirt. ‘Exactly. No obligations, no expectations, no conventions and so forth. Just us, together.’

  ‘Perfect.’ He kissed the top of her head. ‘One thing, though. Do you think, eventually, when it feels right, we might be able to get some sort of jewellery made to commemorate the fling? Rings, perhaps?’

  ‘Maybe,’ Lily allowed. ‘If it feels right.’